আমি একা বাবার বাড়িতে যেতেই নানান জনের নানান কথা শুরু হলো।শুধু আমার কষ্ট বুঝতে পারলো আমার একান্ত নিজের মানুষ গুলো। বড় ভাবি খুব আদর যত্ন করতে লাগল।বড় ভাই রাতে বাসায় আসার আগে জিজ্ঞেস করে কী খাবে? বাবা এসে বারবার জানতে চায় কিছু লাগবে কিনা।সত্যি এতদিনে মনে হয় আমি আদর ভালোবাসা পাচ্ছি।
এই মায়া মমতা খুব মিস করতাম। আগে এমন মনে হতো না। কিন্তু প্রেগন্যান্সির সময় থেকে মনে হয় মানসিক কষ্টে ছিলাম এসব ভেবে যে কেউ আমার খবর রাখে না।আমার কী খেতে ইচ্ছা করে তা কেউ জানতে চায় না। মা সারাদিন এটা ওটা রান্না করে নিজের হাতে খাওয়ায়।রাতে মা’কে জড়িয়ে ঘুমাই।মা মাথা হাত বুলিয়ে দেয়।খুব তাড়াতাড়ি ঘুম আসে।মাঝে মাঝে চোখের কোণে পানি আসে শাকিলের জন্য। খুব ইচ্ছা করে ও যদি ঠিক এভাবে একটু আমাকে জড়িয়ে ধরে আদর করতো।আমার খেয়াল রাখতো।
অনেক বান্ধবীর কাছে শুনেছি তাদের হাসবেন্ড নাকি তাদের পেটে হাত দিয়ে বাচ্চাদের সাথে কথা বলে।শাকিল কোনদিনই জানতে চায়নি বাচ্চা কেমন আছে? এমন কী বাবু যেদিন প্রথম নড়তে শুরু করে সেদিন শাকিলকে বলেছিলাম। ওর কোন অনুভূতিই ছিল না।ওর এমন নির্লিপ্ত ভাব দেখে খুব কষ্ট পেয়েছি। মনে হয়েছিল বাচ্চা শুধু একটা জীবনে প্রয়োজন বলেই নিচ্ছে শাকিল।বাচ্চার প্রতি তার কোনো ভালোবাসা বা মায়া নেই। বড় ভাবি যখন প্রেগন্যান্ট ছিলেন তখন প্রায়ই কল করলেই বলতেন, বাবুর জন্য তোমার ভাই এটা এনে রেখেছে। আমার জন্য এটা এনেছে, ওটা এনেছে। আমার অনুভূতি গুলো শাকিলের অনিচ্ছার কাছে হার মেনে নিত।
চাকরি নিয়ে আমার এত বছরের স্বপ্ন পূরণ হলো।কিন্তু শাকিলের জন্য চাকরি ছাড়তে হলো। নিজেকে সত্যি অসহায় মনে হতে লাগল। নিজের পায়ের নিচের মাটি আবারও সরে গেল মনে হয়। নিজের ইচ্ছা গুলো কারো ইচ্ছার কাছে বন্দী মনে হচ্ছে। এমন জীবন তো চাইনি আমি। একটু সহযোগিতা করলেই অন্য সবার মতো আমিও চাকরিটা করতে পারতাম।কিন্তু চাকরি নিয়ে অশান্তি হতে লাগল।তবে আমি আবারও চাকরি করবো।এভাবে নিজেকে হেরে যেতে দিতে পারি না।
একদিন বড় ভাবির বাবা এলেন।আমি বাড়িতে এসেছি শুনে উনি ভাবির মা’কে নিয়ে দেখা করতে আসলেন।আমার শরীর কেমন জিজ্ঞেস করে বাবাকে বললেন, বিয়াই সাহেব মেয়ের সাথে জামাইয়ের কত রকম কথা কাটাকাটি হয়।তাই বলে মেয়েকে এই ভাবে নিয়ে আসা ঠিক হয়েছে কি? তাছাড়া এই সময়ে জামাই বাবার তো কাছে থাকা দরকার। বাবা হেসে বললেন, সমস্যা নাই ভাই। মেয়ে আমার বোঝা না।এত বছর লালন পালন করতে পারছি। জামাই যদি নিজের ভুল বুঝতে না পারে। তাহলে আমার মেয়ে আমার কাছেই রাখবো।এত কষ্ট করে মেয়ে মানুষ করছি।অমানুষিক কষ্ট সহ্য করতে দিতে চাই না।
বাবার কথা শেষ হতেই ভাবি সামনে এসে ওনার বাবাকে বললেন, বাবা তুমি আব্বা আম্মার কষ্ট বুঝতে পারবে না।কারণ তোমার মেয়ে এ বাড়িতে সোনায় সোহাগা। আমার জামাই অসম্ভব ভালোবাসে আমাকে।আর আমার শশুর শাশুড়ি নিজের মেয়ের মতো দেখে আমাকে। যতদিন বাচ্চা পেটে ছিল।আমার এত যত্ন করছে যে আমার তোমাদের কাছে যেতে মন চায়নি।কিন্তু আব্বা তোমাদেরকে আসতে বলতো। আমাকে দেখতে আসতে বলতো।যেন তোমাদেরকে দেখতে ইচ্ছা করলে মন খারাপ না হয়।আমার কপাল অনেক ভালো। তাই তোমাদের কোনো কষ্ট হয়নি আমাকে নিয়ে। তোমরা বুঝতে পারবে না আব্বার কতটা কষ্ট লাগছে জেরিনকে ওভাবে দেখে।
ভাবি আরও বললেন, আমারও খুব খারাপ লেগেছে।যে বাড়িতে আমি বউ হয়ে মেয়ের মতো থাকি।সে বাড়ির মেয়ে এত কষ্ট করে তার স্বামীর বাড়িতে। এ নিয়ে আর কোনো কথা বলবে না তোমরা। বড় ভাবির কথা শুনে সেদিন শুধু আমার না, বাবা মায়ের চোখেও পানি চলে এসেছিল।সত্যি অনেক ভালো ভাগ্য আমার ভাবির আর বাবা মায়ের তারা সবাই তাদের মনের মতো মানুষ পেয়েছে। আমার কী দোষ ছিল?কেন আমি তাদের আপন হতে পারলাম না?
বড় ভাইয়ের ছেলেকে কোলে নিলে খুব শান্তি লাগে।মা এত ভালোবাসে ওকে।ভাবি যখন খায় বাবুকে মা কোলে রাখে।যাতে ভাবি শান্তিতে খেতে পারে। ভাবি যেন একটু রেস্ট নেয়, তখন মা বাবুকে তার কাছে রাখে।যখন ভাবি রান্না করে, মা তখন বাবুকে দেখে। এসব দেখে একদিন মা’কে বলেই ফেললাম, সত্যি তুমি অনেক ভালো মা।ভাবির অনেক ভাগ্য ভালো। তোমার মতো শাশুড়ি পেয়েছে। তুমি কতো বুঝো ভাবিকে।
মা হেসে বলল, আমার ছেলের বউ সে।তাকে আপন করে নিতে না পারলে সেও দূরে থাকবে।তাকে আপন ভাবেলেই সে আমাদেরকে আপন করে নিবে।আমি যখন এ বাড়িতে বউ হয়ে আসি তখন এত বড় পরিবারে এসে কিছুই বুঝতে পারতাম না।কিন্তু তোমার দাদীর অনেক বুদ্ধি ছিল। সবসময়ই আমাকে বোঝাতো।সবকিছু শিখিয়ে দিত।তবুও কষ্ট হত।আমি আমার কথা গুলো কাউকে বলতে পারতাম না। আমার যখন বাচ্চা পেটে আসলো।তখন আমারও কিছু কষ্ট ছিল। আমার শরীর যেমনই থাকুক সবার ইচ্ছা অনুযায়ী চলতে হতো।একদিন বাবা আসলো দেখতে।আমি অনেক কাঁদলাম বাবার কাছে।
বাবাকে বললাম, তোমার সাথে নিয়ে যাও আমাকে বাবা।এখানে আমার ভালো লাগে না।বাবা আমাকে সাথে নিয়ে যায়। আমি মাকে সব বলি বাড়িতে গিয়ে। পরে বাবা তোমার দাদাকে বলেছিল,আমার মেয়ে এই সময়ে আপনাদের কাছে আরও ভালোবাসা পাওয়ার কথা।তার এই সময় সবাই তার দেখাশোনা করবে।কিন্তু সারাদিন তাকেই সবার দেখাশোনা করতে হয়। বাচ্চা হওয়ায় পর সবাই আদর সোহাগ করে। কিন্তু বাচ্চা পেটে থাকতেও তার আদর ভালোবাসা দরকার হয়।সেটা সে অনুভব করে মায়ের মন দিয়ে।
তোমার দাদা সেদিন আমার বাবাকে কথা দেন।এখন থেকে আমাকে তার মেয়ের মতো দেখবেন।এই সময়ে আমার কোনো অবহেলা আর হবে না।আর এও বলে এখন থেকে তোমার বাবা আমার ঠিক মতো দেখাশোনা করবে।এরপর সত্যি তোমার দাদা দাদী আমার অনেক যত্ন নিয়েছেন। তোমার বাবা বা ভাই আজ যা শিখেছে তা তাদের বাবা মায়ের কাছে থেকে শিখেছে।তোমার বাবা এটাও চায় শাকিল আর তোমার শাশুড়ি তোমাকে সেই ভালোবাসা আর মর্যাদা দিবে।আমি মায়ের কথা শুনে খুশি হলেও এটা জানতাম শাকিল আর আমার শাশুড়ি এত সহজে এসব কথা মানতে বা বুঝতে চাইবেন না।
প্রতিদিন শাকিলের কলের অপেক্ষা করতাম।মনে হতো ও ঠিকই আমাকে আর বাচ্চাকে মিস করবে।ও ছুটে আসবে আমাদের টানে।কিন্তু ঐ বাড়ির কেউ আমার কোনো খোঁজে খবর নিল না।প্রচন্ড কষ্ট বুকের মাঝে চেপে রাখতাম।মা বাবা বুঝতে পারতো।আমি প্রতিদিন শাকিলকে মেসেজ লিখি।কিন্তু পাঠাই না।লিখে আবার ডিলেইড করে দেই।আমার মনের যত কথা অভিমান হয়ে জমে থাকে তার সব কথা লিখতাম। আবার মুছেও দিতাম।কিন্তু হঠাৎ একটা মেসেজ ডিলেইড করতে গিয়ে সেন্ড হয়ে যায়। আমি চেষ্টা করেও তা ফিরত নিতে পারলাম না।মেসেজ যাওয়ার পর খুব চিন্তায় ছিলাম।মনে হচ্ছিল শাকিল কল করে কিছু না কিছু তো বলবেই। কিন্তু সে কল দেয়নি। সারারাত অপেক্ষা করতে করতে কখন যে ঘুমিয়ে গিয়েছি জানি না। সকালে যখন ঘুৃম ভাঙলো তখন চোখ খুলে শাকিলকে দেখি।
চলবে,,,,
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